What do Tiger Woods and Herman Cain Have in Common?



Eldrick "Tiger" Woods



Herman Cain

                         #Losing

12/2/2011:

I’m going to go ahead and start my career on this blog with a post about one of life’s greatest maxims: hoes be winnin. That’s right. Though the exchange of personal (sexual) value for success (money) has long been prevalent, it is only recent that such a phenomenon has left the shadows of hush-hush secrecy and proudly asserted itself as the centerpiece of American living rooms via network and basic cable television.
Maybe I was late to the party, but the first time it became blatant to me that hoes were winning was what I like to call the Thanksgiving Day Tragedy of 2009. Not long after Eldrick “Tiger” Woods crashed his SUV into a tree while fleeing his golf-club wielding wife, “mistress” after “mistress” (or, shall we say, jumpoff after jumpoff) came out of the woodworks claiming to have had sexual relations with Woods during his brief marriage with Elin Nordegren. These women, several of whom were involved in either the adult entertainment or reality television industries, couldn’t resist being  given money and publicity in exchange for the salacious details of the relationships and text messages they shared with Woods. Then, in what became the second-greatest trick pulled during the saga, Rachel Uchitel got $10M from Woods in order NOT to speak publicly about their relationship. (She was later forced to remit the money to Woods when she, amazingly, could not keep her mouth shut about her relationship history while appearing on a reality television show). Nearly all of these women profited off of their sexual relationships with Woods, while he, in turn, lost endorsements, golf tournaments, and respect in the court of public opinion.

Not only are hoes winning for monetary reasons, but they’re also winning in the area “moral perception.” The concept of hoes being somehow moral may seem somewhat of a paradox; however, it can be explained perfectly by the current Herman Cain situation (or really, any situation in which a politician is caught pants-down in an extra-marital affair). Dating back to the last several weeks, four women “came forward” (prompted by the media and Cain’s GOP competitors, undoubtedly) alleging that Cain had sexually harassed them during the 1990s and early 2000s. This week, yet another woman revealed that she had been engaged in an affair with Cain that spanned some thirteen years. Through all of the accusations, eyes have not been on the women; no, Cain has borne the brunt of the public scorn and disapproval. Though he was leading in the GOP primary polls before any allegations against him were made, he is currently tied for third place with Texas Governor Rick Perry, the man who stumbled when trying to remember his own presidential platform.

Some may blame feminism, some may blame capitalism, but I blame “hoes be winnin” on stupidity. Men seem to no longer be intelligent enough to keep their “mistresses” from outing them. Sure, the game has changed, but only the strong survive, and these men are losing. So although the popular perception is that hoes don’t win, reality tells us that these hoes will continue to win until men catch up.